The Eve Before Christmas at MCC

By D. St.Onge

Was the eve before my MCC's Christmas Not an inmate was stirring, well maybe a mouse

The cells were all locked on the units with care In hopes that my lawyers soon would be there.

The inmates were all nestled all snug in their bunks While visions of freedom swirled around in their heads

And unit counselor in her kerchief and the guard in his cap

Had just settled down for a long restful nap.

When outside MCC there arose such a clatter sprang from my bunk to see what was the matter Away to the window, I flew like flash, peering through the grates, trying to see around the bars The spotlights searched the new fallen snow Gave a luster of hope; to be one of the free persons down below.

When what to my astonishing eyes should appear

but a miniature sleigh heaped with my defense team and eight tiny reindeer. With a little driver so frisky and slick I knew in that moment, I had hired St. Nick.

More rapid than federal charges his courses they came

And he whistled and he hollered and called they by name.

Come on Dasher, come on Dancer, come on Prancer and Vixen,

Yo Comet, Yo Cupid, Yo Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of MCC's roof past high fences as they stand

To the top of the wall, past razor wires all in a band

Now flyaway, flyaway, flyaway all!

As armored guards looked on amazed from their posts When they met with assault rifles mounted up towards the sky

So up to MCC's roof the team it did fly.

With a sleigh full of discovery, motions and such

And the driver St. Nicholas too! And then in a flash of a sparkle I heard on the roof

The dancing and stepping of each little boot.

As I drew in my head from the bars and was turning around

Down the chimney St. Nick and my defense team came with a bound.

They were dressed in Armani from head to toe

Their boots were all Prada, it was easy to know

And their suits were all custom tailored

sporting red power ties, all knotted just so.

A bundle of papers they flung on their backs As they looked like Corporate Gangsters just opening their sacks.

Their eyes how they glisten! Their cute dimples how merry! Their windswept cheeks like roses, their straight noses like cherries!

Their funny small mouths were curled up like bows

All in good pre- tense, for the prosecutor, you know.

It must be a surprise, to the USDA's side, that they have

a wonderful defense that will let the inmate slide It will hit them so quick the prosecutor will say "Oh"

and the judge will bang his gavel, not guilty, you must let her go!

They had proud broad faces and tight six pack bellies

They laughed and cheered at the victory they won.

The prosecutor was chubby and plump, a right nasty old elf,

that seemed quite at odds with himself,

with a tear in his eye and droop of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

The team said not a word and went right to their work Signed all the papers required to release all the assets they took.

And giving me a wink and a nod up the chimney we rose

We hopped in the sleigh and gave the reindeer a whistle

Away we all flew quicker than windblown thistle.

But I let myself cry out as we drove out of sight

Merry Christmas to all and to all have a fine night.